Saturday, 2 July 2016

Zambians, stop the GBV hypocrisy!!!!!!

By Ann Zulu
It pains me so much when I think of how hypocritical our Zambia society is, right from the day a girl is born in this part of the world, the society starts the horrible moulding work.

We go excited with joy when it's a male child at birth AND put up fake smiles saying "children are God's gifts" When it's a girl.
We come up with all the ridiculous rules and regulations for girls. But say the boys are men so don't need them. "We are preparing the girls for marriage” we always claim.
After moulding angels without fellow angels to marry them, what manner of world have you created?
We treat girls as inferior and boys as superior yet expect the former to have very healthy self-esteem?
No matter how great a lady becomes, we consider her a failure if still single. I recall a twat telling me "you haven't achieved anything until you're married". My response? Best you don't know. Well, the idiot who still feeds his married kids and in - laws discovered I have a crazy side. He now avoids me like a plague.
We blackmail and threaten our daughters into marriage. How could we yet come up writing stuffs about domestic abuse? Are we not our daughters' and sisters' number one abusers?
We then blackmail them to remain in abuse as we taunt them for not being able to keep a home should they ever flee spousal abuse! We shame divorced females but pet divorced males.
"He married a horrible woman" we conclude before hearing the full story!
He can cheat in marriage and the wife must forgive him. "Where do you want to move to or start from" we blackmail women married to pit latrines into tolerating being infected with STDs.
She cheats in marriage? Then she deserves to die! "She provoked him with her infidelity. No man loves to share his wife" we say.
"Fast and pray and watch war room" pastors do advise their abused female flocks! Mummy GOs (pastors' wives) have more gruesome panacea than their husbands for abused female members.
A woman must be all round matured before getting married. She must know how to talk, how to this, how to that, etc. No lecture, how much more on self-control for the boys in men skin we are churning out!
She gets promoted? She must have slept her way up!
She's doing well in her career? You condemn.
He gets promoted! He's always been a smart guy!
He's doing well in his career? We commend.
She is never to show anger lest men will avoid her.
It's normal for him to throw tantrums!
She dares speaks up and runs away from abuse? Haaaaa! She's lying against that loving and romantic guy society blackmailed her into marrying. A devil she is. "She never planned to remain married. She's always wanted to live a loose life" we say while judging her.
We marry before our friends, even if we were 40 years when we married another woman's husband, we start referring to single friends as bitter. We shame them and even avoid them since we are no longer on the same level. It doesn't matter if we are living smoke screen lives. At least, we are married. They are not!
....The list is endless. We silence females in this part of the world!
BEFORE YOU CONTINUE YOUR PROFESSIONAL HYPOCRISY, LOOK INWARD. EXAMINE YOURSELF. YOU COULD BE/ARE THE NUMBER ONE ABUSER.
DOMESTIC ABUSE IS A CYCLE. IT BEGINS WITH YOU. CHANGE YOU AND WE WOULD HAVE HEALTHY WOMEN.
STOP THE TALKS AND START ACTING RIGHT. STOPPING DOMESTIC ABUSE BEGINS WITH YOU NOT HER DODGING PUNCHES!

Thanks for reading. 

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