By Ann Zulu
It pains me
so much when I think of how hypocritical our Zambia society is, right from the
day a girl is born in this part of the world, the society starts the horrible
moulding work.
We go excited
with joy when it's a male child at birth AND put up fake smiles saying
"children are God's gifts" When it's a girl.
We come up
with all the ridiculous rules and regulations for girls. But say the boys are
men so don't need them. "We are preparing the girls for marriage” we
always claim.
After
moulding angels without fellow angels to marry them, what manner of world have
you created?
We treat
girls as inferior and boys as superior yet expect the former to have very
healthy self-esteem?
No matter
how great a lady becomes, we consider her a failure if still single. I recall a
twat telling me "you haven't achieved anything until you're married".
My response? Best you don't know. Well, the idiot who still feeds his married
kids and in - laws discovered I have a crazy side. He now avoids me like a
plague.
We blackmail
and threaten our daughters into marriage. How could we yet come up writing
stuffs about domestic abuse? Are we not our daughters' and sisters' number one
abusers?
We then
blackmail them to remain in abuse as we taunt them for not being able to keep a
home should they ever flee spousal abuse! We shame divorced females but pet
divorced males.
"He married
a horrible woman" we conclude before hearing the full story!
He can cheat
in marriage and the wife must forgive him. "Where do you want to move to
or start from" we blackmail women married to pit latrines into tolerating
being infected with STDs.
She cheats
in marriage? Then she deserves to die! "She provoked him with her
infidelity. No man loves to share his wife" we say.
"Fast
and pray and watch war room" pastors do advise their abused female flocks!
Mummy GOs (pastors' wives) have more gruesome panacea than their husbands for
abused female members.
A woman must
be all round matured before getting married. She must know how to talk, how to
this, how to that, etc. No lecture, how much more on self-control for the boys
in men skin we are churning out!
She gets
promoted? She must have slept her way up!
She's doing
well in her career? You condemn.
He gets
promoted! He's always been a smart guy!
He's doing
well in his career? We commend.
She is never
to show anger lest men will avoid her.
It's normal
for him to throw tantrums!
She dares
speaks up and runs away from abuse? Haaaaa! She's lying against that loving and
romantic guy society blackmailed her into marrying. A devil she is. "She
never planned to remain married. She's always wanted to live a loose life"
we say while judging her.
We marry
before our friends, even if we were 40 years when we married another woman's
husband, we start referring to single friends as bitter. We shame them and even
avoid them since we are no longer on the same level. It doesn't matter if we
are living smoke screen lives. At least, we are married. They are not!
....The list
is endless. We silence females in this part of the world!
BEFORE YOU
CONTINUE YOUR PROFESSIONAL HYPOCRISY, LOOK INWARD. EXAMINE YOURSELF. YOU COULD
BE/ARE THE NUMBER ONE ABUSER.
DOMESTIC
ABUSE IS A CYCLE. IT BEGINS WITH YOU. CHANGE YOU AND WE WOULD HAVE HEALTHY
WOMEN.
STOP THE
TALKS AND START ACTING RIGHT. STOPPING DOMESTIC ABUSE BEGINS WITH YOU NOT HER
DODGING PUNCHES!
Thanks for
reading.
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